Goodbye, Tufts

3.5 years ago, I wrote The Beginning of College Sucks. I was one semester into college, and was starting to realize that perhaps the initial loneliness wouldn’t be permanent.

I wrote:

…it did remind me to slow down and give things time. Something will probably have changed in a month, and you won’t even have to force yourself to go to marginally interesting club meetings or strike up tedious conversations with the people who sit next to you in class.

It was perhaps a bit silly to write a grand theory of college after one semester — but in the same way, any writing is painfully foolish in retrospect.

Anyway, I graduated a few weeks ago. Here’s what I would tell the person who wrote that blog post 3.5 years ago:

1. The beginning of college did suck much more than expected, and that’s okay. You went from having lots of friends at the culmination of high school to not having very many. That’s a lonely transition.
2. It doesn’t help that everybody around you seemed to be making lots of friends. That wasn’t really true, but boy did it feel that way.
3. You remember how high school got better and better through to the end? It’s just like that.
4. You’re right that things take time. Some effort and plotting to make friends is useful, but above all it takes time.
5. You’ll find a club in sophomore year that helps a lot. That took some plotting, but also luck.
6. There are a lot more people at a university than the ones you see in the first weeks. If no one seems to click early on, don’t worry — lots of people are hiding in the woodwork.
7. As with many things, it’s different than you would imagine (I don’t really even know what you were imagining), but also more wonderful than you would imagine.
8. It’ll be over sooner than you can imagine. Have fun — but it’s also okay if it’s not always fun.
9. Lighten up!